‘I think I’m done with fast road cars’

‘I think I’m done with fast road cars’
‘Too fast for the road’ has long been a badge of honour among supercars, but it’s now a condition that afflicts most performance cars
'If you want a nice investment, just buy a bloody painting, not a supercar.'

'If you want a nice investment, just buy a bloody painting, not a supercar.'
The treatment of fine supercars as static investments is a crime, says Porter, this is why...
'It's time the established fast-car makers gave us all something to look forward to.'

'It's time the established fast-car makers gave us all something to look forward to.'
Dickie questions whether the established manufacturers are doing enough to adapt to the future of sports cars...
'Is it OK to repeatedly correct a 3-year-old’s pronunciation of Porsche?'

'Is it OK to repeatedly correct a 3-year-old’s pronunciation of Porsche?'
After considerable efforts to control his pedantic rage, Porter is taking the high ground and not correcting his son's Porsche faux pas
'We should begrudgingly endorse the SUV not lament it' 

'We should begrudgingly endorse the SUV not lament it'
Meaden dons a flak jacket and presents a robust defence of the cars we all love to hate
'Now everything has a Sport mode. Even my dishwasher has one'

'Now everything has a Sport mode. Even my dishwasher has one'
Sport modes are everywhere… It’s a shame most have the subtlety of a sledgehammer, says Porter
'Toyota can make white goods models and still be the world’s most exciting car brand'

'Toyota can make white goods models and still be the world’s most exciting car brand'
Calling Toyota 'the most exciting car brand' might sound dubious, but Meaden might be on to something...
'The hardest thing to engineer into a car is niceness'

'The hardest thing to engineer into a car is niceness'
When you’ve got to live with a car, there’s a lot to be said for niceness, reckons Porter.
‘Listening to music should be endorsed not scorned when you’re behind the wheel’ 

‘Listening to music should be endorsed not scorned when you’re behind the wheel’
Switch off the stereo and listen to the music of the engine? Alternatively, suggests Dickie, leave it on and crank up the volume.
‘The A1 is interesting and unusual and I hope it never changes’

‘The A1 is interesting and unusual and I hope it never changes’
It may not be the quickest north-south route, but its ability to surprise, entertain and even disgust makes the A1 the natural choice
‘Are modern performance cars better value than their predecessors?'

‘Are modern performance cars better value than their predecessors?'
It’s easy to moan about the seemingly extortionate prices of new performance cars, but is that actually the case? Meaden investigates.
'2018 might see a road-legal production car hit 300mph. Pointless? In every practical sense, yes'

'2018 might see a road-legal production car hit 300mph. Pointless? In every practical sense, yes'
Dickie ponders the pointless, but seductive objective of road cars reaching the 300mph milestone
‘A stranger tainted my car and it’ll never be the same’ 

‘A stranger tainted my car and it’ll never be the same’
Mrs Porter’s car has been damaged in the street. Mr Porter isn’t taking it well...
'The ritual of looking at cars was one of the great spectator sports of my childhood'

'The ritual of looking at cars was one of the great spectator sports of my childhood'
Dickie harks back to a time when hunting down second hand cars was a Sunday ritual rather than an open tab on your browser
'Nowadays Lamborghinis flatter their drivers, rather than frighten the bejesus out of them'

'Nowadays Lamborghinis flatter their drivers, rather than frighten the bejesus out of them'
Worried that Lamborghini might be losing its hardcore edge, Meaden appraises the future of the raging bull
'Car makers developing four-wheel-drive technology should take inspiration from a dog'

'Car makers developing four-wheel-drive technology should take inspiration from a dog'
Where will you find the most sophisticated four-wheel-drive system available? Look no further than man’s best friend, says Porter
"Car technology is turning the colourful tapestry of European driving styles into a miserable morass of badly driven metal"

"Car technology is turning the colourful tapestry of European driving styles into a miserable morass of badly driven metal"
Could recent changes to cars and roads be causing driving standards to decline? Dickie has noticed some worrying initial signs.
'The speed at which electric hypercars are appearing is turning me off'

'The speed at which electric hypercars are appearing is turning me off'
Not only is the way in which hypercars are built rapidly changing, but so is their raison d’être.
‘The elusive thrill of driving is more readily accessed with the roof down’

‘The elusive thrill of driving is more readily accessed with the roof down’
Perhaps more evidence of his advancing years, Meaden confesses to a growing passion for convertible motoring
The art of disguising a car – what’s happened to it?

The art of disguising a car – what’s happened to it?
Manufacturers used to exhibit extraordinary creativity in disguising their prototypes. Porter laments the loss of these pantomime cars
‘When it comes to car ownership I reckon we all fall into one of three categories’

‘When it comes to car ownership I reckon we all fall into one of three categories’
Dickie Meaden discusses the three different personality types that exist among car owners.
'Too many old farts think Jaguar is the National Trust of car makers'

'Too many old farts think Jaguar is the National Trust of car makers'
There’s a stale attitude pervading the internet forums, and revitalised Jaguar is the victim. Porter takes aim at the naysayers.
'It’s the battle of risk versus reward that’s catnip for car nuts like us'

'It’s the battle of risk versus reward that’s catnip for car nuts like us'
When the alarm bells (and suspension failure warnings) are ringing, should you still buy that well-used dream car? Meaden did.
'For the modern urban crawl, the relaxing, untaxing Nissan Leaf is perfectly fit for purpose'

'For the modern urban crawl, the relaxing, untaxing Nissan Leaf is perfectly fit for purpose'
Admire a car that’s fit for purpose? Then if you do most of your driving in an urban environment, Porter reckons you need a Nissan Leaf
‘Ring records once meant something, now I feel completely immune to their impact’

‘Ring records once meant something, now I feel completely immune to their impact’
Nürburgring lap records have become mighty but meaningless, says Meaden, who reckons we can bring back the awe of the olden days
'So if the supercar is the necessary glamourpuss of machinery, what’s at the opposite end?'

'So if the supercar is the necessary glamourpuss of machinery, what’s at the opposite end?'
If supercars sit at the top of the automotive tree, what are their absolute polar opposites? Porter thinks he’s nailed it
'The roads are a treasure trove of memorable turns if you’re on the lookout'

'The roads are a treasure trove of memorable turns if you’re on the lookout'
We’ve all got our favourite corners. Meaden wants to hear yours in the hope that it could become part of something rather special
'The Aston Martin Rapide AMR is a completely preposterous car. And I want one very much indeed.'

'The Aston Martin Rapide AMR is a completely preposterous car. And I want one very much indeed.'
Take dignity, and discard. Then add smugness and blend with no logic whatsoever. Yes, it’s Porter’s recipe for a truly silly car
'The critical ingredient isn’t the car or the driver. The road brings the magic'

'The critical ingredient isn’t the car or the driver. The road brings the magic'
Car, driver, road: they’re all important, but which holds most sway when it comes to a rewarding drive?
'As a cosmetic add-on, carbonfibre is ugly, unpleasant, and incredibly vulgar'

'As a cosmetic add-on, carbonfibre is ugly, unpleasant, and incredibly vulgar'
Richard Porter has his say on carbonfibre as an aesthetic addition to the car.
'The notion of dropping an unlikely motor into an equally unlikely recipient is almost as old as the car itself'

'The notion of dropping an unlikely motor into an equally unlikely recipient is almost as old as the car itself'
Some of the most deranged automotive one-offs are the result of engine swaps. Meaden identifies his favourites.
‘Maybe it’s a sign of the times. In all likelihood, we’ll look back on the 2010s as the era of grey’

‘Maybe it’s a sign of the times. In all likelihood, we’ll look back on the 2010s as the era of grey’
The choice of paint colours car makers currently offer is unspeakably dull. Porter reckons he knows why
‘What would you commission as your one-off supercar?’

‘What would you commission as your one-off supercar?’
Money no object. Three words, endless possibilities for the imaginative petrolhead. Meaden gets the ball rolling with his own fantasy car
'So riddle me this: why am I not interested in the new 911 GT2 RS?'

'So riddle me this: why am I not interested in the new 911 GT2 RS?'
“A stiffened, steroid-injected 911 just isn’t fulfilling its main role in the automotive animal kingdom”
'You don't need to take a far-flung vacation to acquaint your car with a great road'

'You don't need to take a far-flung vacation to acquaint your car with a great road'
"Just get up early, drink coffee, grab the keys and drive" says Dickie Meaden
'Well, I mean, winning is so un-British isn't it?'

'Well, I mean, winning is so un-British isn't it?'
"There are things we Brits do very well, but getting behind our sportspeople is not one of them" says Porter