Are modern cars really worse? The myth drivers need to stop believing
The older we get the more we moan, but there’s so much to enjoy today, says Porter
There are many pitfalls to getting older. The concern that one big sneeze might permanently throw your back out. The worry that you’ll have to increase the text size on your phone so much you’ll be reading your messages one letter at a time. But worst of all, there’s the fear that you’ll get too moany. We all like to complain sometimes. It’s cathartic, it gets things off your mind, it’s probably good for you. But there’s a limit. And when you’re older, it’s all too easy to lose sight of that invisible line and become someone for whom complaining is a full-time job. Just look at the mad, moany letters sent to local newspapers, the dwindling readership of which is typically composed of people who think Olivia Dean is responsible for the adverts in cinemas.
It’s easy to fall into this as age chips away at your tolerance, sets you into trenches of expectation and disappointment, and, worst of all, cons you into thinking everything was better in the old days. It’s an easy trap to get snagged in, that last one, because the past can seem increasingly comforting, especially in uncertain times. In the present, we’re living in a scary movie and we don’t know what’s coming around the corner. Port yourself back to the imagined sunshine of your childhood and, well, you’re in a comforting film where you know what happens next. But things weren’t always better in the past; in many cases they were worse. And I especially think that when I hear people of a certain age moaning endlessly about cars.
> The James May rule for writing about cars that you won't believe works
Some complaints about the cars of today are, I grant you, hard to argue against. Speed limit warning chimes that don’t know the actual speed limit. Lane assist systems that give you a distressing sense of what it would be like to share the front seat with a mischievous orangutan. An over-reliance on touchscreens that makes finding simple functions a needlessly distracting ordeal. But, notwithstanding the long lead on changing designs, car companies seem to have realised this and are palpably addressing these issues with better programming, easier ways to disable jankier ADAS elements, and a better compromise between touchscreens and physical buttons. Every time new tech comes along, car firms always seem to need time to work out how best to implement it, whether it’s keyless entry, Bluetooth connectivity, or stability control. Some get it right early on, some take a couple of goes. These places are staffed by humans and this is a very human trait. Just remember the last time you moved into a new place and realised after a few weeks you’d made a bad decision about where to keep your plates.
Some new cars are quite annoying at the moment, but soon they won’t be. And in the meantime you could always buy a slightly older car because – and this is always worth celebrating, not moaning about – in recent years cars have become way more durable and dependable. Imagine being someone in the 1970s trying to buy a reasonably priced ten-year-old car with a load of life left in it. What you’d actually get was a car-shaped block of Bran Flakes with a variable policy on whether or not it would let you use things like the passenger door or third gear.
Likewise, people moaning about EVs. If they offend you that much, you can still buy cars with internal combustion engines and, if you don’t want something brand new, you’ll be able to do that for decades to come. Personally, for boring everyday tasks I like EVs, and I don’t buy that they’re sucking the soul from the car because, if they’re doing normal family chores, what are they replacing for a great many people? A Nissan Qashqai diesel? A Kia Rio? A Fiat 500L? Things weren’t always better in the old days.
Which brings me to my greatest complaint about moaning about cars. Yes, you might have noticed this is a moan about moaning. If, as some of our nation’s most strident moaners would have it, we live in sad times for the car and have said goodbye to a golden era, what the merry farting heck would you call an age in which you can go to a dealership and buy a box-fresh BMW M3 Touring or Toyota GR Yaris or Lamborghini Revuelto or Morgan Supersport or Hyundai i10 or Land Rover Defender Octa or Renault 5 or Ferrari 12 Cilindri or Porsche 911 GTS or Dacia Spring or Bentley Supersports or VW Multivan or Mini Cooper?
There’s a lot of great stuff out there, whatever size and shape of car you want, and when I read or hear moaning about the state of cars, I find myself wondering, what do you actually want? Except a return to a mythical version of the past where everything was perfect and the sun was always out. Although I agree, badly programmed lane assist is a pain in the arse and I won’t stop mentioning that until they sort it. But hey, I’m getting older. If you’re not careful, moaning comes with the territory.
This story was first featured in evo issue 345.
